When I encounter a flame, and I reach out to touch it, I am burned, and my body reacts out of instinct, withdrawing from its danger. And so the body should react, for to survive longer, it must avoid that which hinders life.

When a person tells me that they cannot stand to love me back, I am hurt, and my mind reacts in numerous ways (and my heart, one might argue). And so the mind should react, for to reproduce, one must avoid incompatible mates.

Yet, bringing the rituals of Darwin close to the teachings of Jesus, there is a step we must take. We must transcend our evolutionary attempts, and rise to the goal of eternal life. We must tell the truth, which often causes immense pain. We must fight against fear itself – the mortal body’s quest to maintain life – in favour of eternal life, which is an incredible task, for our greatest fear is death. Unfortunately, logic is broken between these two [schools], where we must embrace mortal death in favour of immortal life.

The battle between the spirit and the flesh is treacherous, yet unavoidable. Pain is a concept that we must accept, and no longer fear. Our mortal bodies deceive us by process of evolution; in a struggle to preserve the flesh, we avoid the discovery of the spirit.

Herein is the ultimate, life long battle. We must promote truth at the cost of pain. When taken into perspective, it seems quite commonsense: We achieve an eternal, pure aspect, at the expense of a mortal, deprived state. Why then so difficult? Well, of course we have become dependent on our senses to dictate what “reality” is to us. Consequently, our “reality” embraces Darwin’s fear of pain, and we are blind to the simple transaction that we must make.

Here we must pause to make an important observation: Great men [and women] live and die, renouncing the presence of God. This fact should not cloud our minds from the truths that they speak about this “reality”. Darwin was justified by our mortal existence to write and teach what he did, and he was accurate. However, those truths apply only to the world that he knew – the mortal one. We can not afford to turn a blind eye to thoughts from men and women who do not believe what we do, for they provide excellent insight into our mortality, into our need for reunion with the Father.

The advocate of entertainment does not hesitate to cast blows at my need for production. When I deny [him], the advocate becomes ill-willed, seems to convey the idea that if I do not obey, I will be alienated from my friends who also worship the god of entertainment.

But it seems simple to me, for I quest to better myself, and I rarely benefit from consuming alcohol and nicotine while conversing with others about almost incoherent ideas of nothing. It bores me. What is my goal? For others is there any reason beyond a temporary and deceiving euphoria? Is it so hard to see that when we pursue these things, we are consciously and willingly deceiving ourselves?

And then, when I first began to follow suit, I created for myself a goal that could more easily be reached while intoxicated: more physical euphoria. This occupied me for a long time because it was [conversely] difficult to obtain. Yet, even after only a few minor successes, I became bored of this as well; there was no reason, no benefit to be borrowed from the temptations before me.

Yet, there is laughter on the dark side. Isn’t laughter a pure thing? Unfortunately not. But I am tempted nonetheless to pursue joy, to pursue happiness. Perhaps this is a righteous goal approved by God. If so, then we fall because we have settled for a sweet candy that tastes like watermelon, but have failed to taste true melon. We have drunken ourselves into believing that we have found true happiness.

I know this to be a lie, for when I am engulfed [by] the shifty pleasures of this type, I seek to be rid of them. True joy must be free of guilt, and guilt I am not free of. For this reason I feel doubly stupid when I indulge in these things, for not only am I deceiving myself, but I also know very acutely that I am accepting the deception.

Expression is that great force that motivates me. When I dream, I dream of large populations understanding and revering my work, but not only this, each is moved by these things, whatever they may be.

Physics attractes me because I can see creativity at its forefront, and a great creativity in a midst of science. The contrast of these things attracts me, for I feel that I understand both, and I have a great love for both. The patterns of creativity of God are both attributes of God, contradictory but one and the same.

The piano-forte attracts me for its ready expression of passion, of conveyance of deep, deep anguish and misery, in a beautiful way, of the human plight, of the severed telephone line to the Father. Again, it is amazing the allowance of creativity from an instrument based on the mathematical and physical laws of this universe.

Where physics is an art grounded in math, the paino-forte is a math rooted in art.

Inspired by Wayne Jeffrey, D.M.A.