I find myself trapped in a world that has left me feeling incredibly inept. It seems that my world consists of hour courses [within] which I find myself terrified by my inability to hang on. My greatest fear, has been realized.
I have spent the last three years convincing myself that my interests, my gifts, all point towards physics. Now that I have finally reached a point where I am starting my journey, I am already at a standstill. The material seems so complex, and I am falling incredibly behind. I have failed two midterms this week and have just been completely stumped on an assignment that is due tomorrow – I can’t even find where to begin. I have forgone the assignment completely in frustration, at a sure cost of 3.5% of my final grade.
I am build up with an intense desire to weep, and I now know the power of what I am getting into.
There is some comfort in the fact that 68% is what I need as an overall average, but as it stands right now, I am below that.
There needs to be a swift change in my learning, but I know not how to shift it, for I am already dedicating all my time to physics. I am sure that this will not get easier, but only more difficult.
There is marginal comfort in that Einstein himself was no academic god either.
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