Indeed…entertainment is the temptation of the last and current centuries. Yet, entertainment is nothing more than a temporary lie.
The advocate of entertainment does not hesitate to cast blows at my need for production. When I deny [him], the advocate becomes ill-willed, seems to convey the idea that if I do not obey, I will be alienated from my friends who also worship the god of entertainment.
But it seems simple to me, for I quest to better myself, and I rarely benefit from consuming alcohol and nicotine while conversing with others about almost incoherent ideas of nothing. It bores me. What is my goal? For others is there any reason beyond a temporary and deceiving euphoria? Is it so hard to see that when we pursue these things, we are consciously and willingly deceiving ourselves?
And then, when I first began to follow suit, I created for myself a goal that could more easily be reached while intoxicated: more physical euphoria. This occupied me for a long time because it was [conversely] difficult to obtain. Yet, even after only a few minor successes, I became bored of this as well; there was no reason, no benefit to be borrowed from the temptations before me.
Yet, there is laughter on the dark side. Isn’t laughter a pure thing? Unfortunately not. But I am tempted nonetheless to pursue joy, to pursue happiness. Perhaps this is a righteous goal approved by God. If so, then we fall because we have settled for a sweet candy that tastes like watermelon, but have failed to taste true melon. We have drunken ourselves into believing that we have found true happiness.
I know this to be a lie, for when I am engulfed [by] the shifty pleasures of this type, I seek to be rid of them. True joy must be free of guilt, and guilt I am not free of. For this reason I feel doubly stupid when I indulge in these things, for not only am I deceiving myself, but I also know very acutely that I am accepting the deception.
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